Aug 11, 2009

Who’s Dressing Medvedev?

We have no idea who’s been dressing Medvedev these days, but someone needs to put down the vampire books. Otherwise, we can only assume that dressing like a vampire CEO is the appropriate attire for putting a beat-down on Ukraine.

On his blog (yes, Medvedev has a blog), everyone’s favorite president figured this would be a good time to give Ukraine some pointers on how to run a country. The highlights:

1) Nikolai Gogol is now the “son of both Ukrainian and Russian peoples.” (Glad we sorted that out.)

2)“Illusions” motivate the Ukrainian government’s view of Russia.

3) “The leadership in Kiev took an openly anti-Russian stand after the Georgia War.” This is not allowed under Section 6 of the “Official Rules for Former Soviet Republics” handbook. (Ukraine, you should have received a copy at orientation.)

Lastly, Medvedev noted:

“I hope that the new leadership of Ukraine will be ready for the break through” in relations with Russia.

This was the official translation. A more accurate translation could read, “Tymoshenko: You. Me. Disco.”


Leopolis said...

Dima always takes his cue from the boss man himself:

Pirates(and)Diplomats said...

That's really sad.

--What's Volodya wearing?
--Black on black, Mr. President.
--Get me that.

elmer said...

Oh, boy, I'm surprised that you didn't follow up the "Ukraine is unfriendly" comment ("unfriendly" is one of the sovok code words out of the lexicon - it has specific connotations; another example is "inadequate") with the news that Dima is taking his ball and going home and he's not going to play any more - Roosha is not going to send an ambassador to Ukraine, because Ukraine is "not friendly."

Shame on vous.

Biden appears to have had a good time in Ukraine - and he noticed that the girls were cute, just like Paul McCartney did ("the Ukraine girls really knock me out...").

The best comment I've seen so far comes from Neeka's Backlog:

"I hope that the fart directed at Ukraine from across the border will remain just that: a fart. And I hope that our politicians, who are real good farters themselves, will not use this newest stench as yet another excuse for doing nothing about all the purely - or nastily - domestic shit that they've produced over the years."

Now, normally moi, being the delicate flower that moi am, would shrink from scatological type characterizations as being "inadequate."

But methinks that the scatology characterization is perfect in this case - as is the fartology characterization.

Maybe the black vampire suit absorbs farts and sharts better than white suits.