Sic Semper Tyrannis

And so we end the year of 70s and 20s – the anniversaries which marked the start of World War II and the end of communism.

Yesterday, we were busy opening presents and toasting the death of Nicolae Ceauşescu – broadcast live on Romanian and Bulgarian television, Christmas day, 1989. However, in commemoration of the very first realityTV show, here’s an amazing interview with the man who shot Ceauşescu.

"I fired 29 cartridges and three rounds. The first one hit Nikolai in the knees."

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Stay classy, Moldova

It’s hard to tell which is part of this story is worse. The mob of people who smashed a public menorah in Chisinau, or the subsequent statement by the Russian Orthodox Church:

“We believe that this unpleasant incident could have been avoided if the menorah had been placed near a memorial for victims of the Holocaust.”

Keep your Judaism to the holocaust and nobody gets hurt.

Late to the Party: Serbia in the EU?

The EU party may have ended years ago, but hey, Serbia was busy with stuff. Now, four years later, Belgrade is knocking on the door and ready to get it on.

“For the last ten years our main goal has been to bring Serbia into the European Union. Europe, for us, signifies values and tolerance, peace and mutual respect and commitment to lasting democracy,” said FYR President Boris Tadic.

Wait -- ten years? 1999? What happened to the NATO war?

If Tadic's math is correct, then this would represent the first time a country has ever fought a war with the entire NATO alliance while simultaneously trying to enter the EU and join members, um, of the alliance.

Let’s try nine years, Tadic. Because you can’t round in a situation like this.

Macho Macho Man

So is it just me or is Putin crazy about proving his manliness these days? According to YahooNews, this week he offered to join the national judo team after showing off his martial arts skills to members of the squad.

After bowing, the former KGB spy went onto the mats, throwing squad members half his age and even tackling the chief trainer, Olympic Gold medallist Ezio Gamba.

First of all, I gotta believe those guys took dives. Like the stories about divers attaching fish to Soviet leaders' hooks on various fishing trips. Second, is this about the "love child", Putin?

Yes, rumored mistress of Putin, Alina Kabaeva, gave birth to a son. What did she name him? She named him Dmitry. Oy. So is Alina not Putin's Baby Mama? And is the boy a Medvedevev? Who knows?

All I know is, Putin, we have the pictures of you shirtless walking through the wilderness, shirtless on horseback, pictures of you hunting, and several you tube clips of you judo fighting. We get it. You're a big manly man. Please stop now. It's starting to look desperate.

Baikal in Winter

Photos by Matthieu Paley, who has quite a tale to tell after snapping the overhead shot.

"They had forgotten me. I started running, then screaming. It was getting dark, and it was about to be 35 below. I freaked out..."

"Impudent, Arrogant Bastards"

Everyone’s favorite bodyguard, turned firefighter, turned professional wrestler, turned Bulgarian prime minister, Boyko Borisov, was on the radio over the weekend. The quote machine was in fine form.

Borisov on youth crimes:

“When ‘Ocean’s Eleven’ came out, everybody was learning how to rob banks.”

Sorry to split hairs here, but Ocean’s Eleven only taught us how to 1) rob a casino; 2) wear a tuxedo properly; and 3) win back the heart of Julia Roberts. A few good tips on robbing a bank would have been useful, however.

Borisov on kidnappers:

“These criminals are impudent, arrogant bastards who cut off people’s fingers.”

Amen, Brother Boyko.

It's Science: Vodka is Better Than Whisky

Science has spoken: "Drinking whisky will result in a worse hangover than vodka. The reason might lie in the number of molecules called 'congeners,' which it contains compared to vodka."

In related news, Aleksandr Nemtsov, a professor at the Scientific Research Institute of Psychiatry of the Russian Ministry of Health, just held a press conference to claim that the "alcohol marathon" (excessive drinking over the New Year’s holiday) will cost the life of 300,000 Russians this year.

300,000 deaths? Maybe. But who is going to argue with the Irony of Fate?


Ironiya sudby ili s legkim parom - MyVideo

The Search for the World’s Hardest Language

Alright, today is going to be a language day...

The Economist has an excellent article on the world’s most difficult languages. In German, for example, “Mark Twain wondered why ‘a young lady has no sex, but a turnip has.’” (Steckrübe is feminine.)

Looks like the Slavic and Finno-Ugric families get honerable mention:

Latin’s six cases cower in comparison with Estonian’s 14, which include inessive, elative, adessive, abessive, and the system is riddled with irregularities and exceptions. Estonian’s cousins in the Finno-Ugric language group do much the same. Slavic languages force speakers, when talking about the past, to say whether an action was completed or not. Linguists call this “aspect”, and English has it too, for example in the distinction between “I go” and “I am going.”

Yes, but this is a good thing.

And there is something to be said for a language (Russian) which allows a speaker to distinguishing between 1) movement to a specific destination with the intention of making a brief stop at a defined point along the way to conduct some form of action before continuing to the original goal or 2) movement to a specific destination by way of an non-specific path but one's arrival is still guaranteed...and still only use one verb!

"Spamovat Facebook se nevyplácí"

As we welcomed (and brutally deleted) our first Russian language spam post in the comment section, a curious question arose: has our beloved "spam" have been granted an "овать" designation in Russian?

Maybe. Yes it has! However, Eternal Remont's crack team of Czech linguist have confirmed that "spam" is most definitely an "ovat" verb in Czech. In fact, the online version of a popular Czech newspaper has devoted an entire article to the topic.

"To Spam Facebook is not worth your time."

A little love for the Czech speakers.

Headlines You Don't See Every Day

"France Concerned Over Nauru’s Caucasus Policy"

Sometimes, the headline is more interesting than the story.

Do we have the makings of a great new rivalry for the Winter Olympics?

(Thanks Igor!)

The Right to (Pay for) Information

Apparently the international community just took notice of a Tajik government decree that charges privately-owned media for access to public information. The decree was passed in October and put into effect in November.

The media were not consulted about the decree, which was not submitted to parliament and was not the subject of any debate. It concerns “all information in official documents” except state secrets and information involving individual citizens.

The decree violates international standards as well as Tajikistan's own constitution. Nice.

And it turns out, public information is not cheap. Since the decree took effect, privately-owned media have been charged up to 25 somoni (4 euros) for each page of information. I guess the government needs revenue from something. Information is in fact a commodity.

"Helicopter Diplomacy"

Quit complaining, start pushing.

That’s the message from NATO Secretary Rasmussen to the hardest working man in show business, Sergey Lavrov. If the Kremlin is worried about Afghanistan, Rasmussen has given them a grocery list: send helicopters and provide police training.

CNN: "NATO Secretary-General Anders Fogh Rasmussen is asking Russia to broaden its presence in Afghanistan with more choppers and expanded police training. 'I have proposed that Russia provide a helicopter package...I hope the Russians will consider my proposal positively.'

The good news, is that we’re about to see if any of this "reset" business is working. The bad news is that – wait –, did he just say police training?

Rassmussen, buddy. You really want Russian police officers to "train" their Afghan counterparts?

Is this the best idea of all time?