Kadyrov to Sue Human Rights Organization "Memorial"

Thus begins the hardest entry I've ever written. It's hard not to lace this one with swears and obscenities. I will try...

According to the New York Times, Chechen leader and the most recent winner of "Chechnya's Next Top Thug," Ramzan Kadyrov plans fight accusations that he was responsible for the grizzly death of Natalia Estemirova by suing her boss Oleg Orlov of Memorial for slander. Said nature's greatest mistake to Orlov:

"You should think about my rights before you proclaim to the whole world that I am guilty of Estemirova’s death!"

Then somewhere along the way, Kadyrov offered this gem.

"If employees of Memorial leave the Chechen Republic, if I and others leave, who will protect the rights of the citizens?"

This from a man who regularly disregards the rights of women as stated in the Russian Constitution. Mr. Kadyrov, how do you stand up straight carrying around those brass ones?

Et Tu, Turkey?

First it was Bulgaria, now even the Turks are banning public smoking.

No word yet, on how the new law will impact huka bars or the Turkish economy (yes, the economy). But Ankara isn’t taking any chances that the public will disregard the new law. The Turkish government has created a 4,500 man force to hunt down the Jedi smokers and destroy them, or at least issue a fine.

That's a pretty light punishment, considering that Prime Minister Erdoğan has equated smoking with terrorism.

"They have killed our soul"

That’s what Oleg Orlov, the Head of the Russian Human Right’s group Memorial said about the murder of Natalia Estemirova, adding:

"A terror campaign is being conducted in Russia — terror against people who dare say things that are uncomfortable and unpleasant for the authorities, who talk about the crimes of those in power."

Public reaction to her death has even forced President Medevdev onto the record. “I am sure the person who committed it will be punished," he said.

But perhaps Taus Dzhankhotova, a woman whom Estemirova had helped before her death, said it best: "They kill only the good people here. If she was bad, they wouldn't have touched her."

And speaking of bad people, Checehen strong-man Ramzan Kadyrov is taking full advantage of Estemirova’s death. While Kadyrov is widely believed to be involved with the murder of Anna Politkovskaya, his government will launch two investigations into Estemirova’s slaying, “one official and one unofficial, following Chechen traditions.”

Just like OJ Simpson, we’re confident that Kadyrov will find the real killers. We’re even more confident they will happen to live in Ingushetia, and offer Kadyrov an excellent excuse to extend his control over the neighboring republic.

Natalia Estemirova Murdered

Human rights activist Natalia Estemirova has been murdered.

“She was the leading figure in continuing to document human rights abuses from the government in Chechnya...[Chechen] militias had much to fear from her,” says the BBC.

As with the death of Anna Politkovskaya, it is impossible to be witty at a moment like this. We can only to mourn her loss and take stock of Chechnya's fastest growing export: political violence.

After being abducted in Chechnya, Estemirova's body was found in neighboring Ingushetia. At the time of her death, she was investigating the government's sponsorship of Chechen militias.

Is Nabucco Sponsoring a NASCAR Team...

…or signing an inter-governmental agreement?

"The completion of the Intergovernmental Agreement represents a significant breakthrough in the realization of this project," said Reinhard Mitschek, Managing Director of the Nabucco Pipeline Int.

The only problem with this picture, of course, is that Nabucco still doesn't have any actual gas to transport. Thanks to all the extra time, what with not having to sign up actual gas supplies, Team Nabucco has put all of its efforts into creating a really awesome brand logo.

For its part, Nabucco consortium member OMV is telling anyone who will listen that the company now expects to pump 31 bcm a year out of Kurdistan. Conveniently, this is exactly enough gas to fill all three phases of the Nabucco project. Too convenient, we suspect, especially since Nabucco's projected cost (now with Iraqi gas) remains unchanged.

But don’t let the details get in the way. If worse comes to worse, the Bulgarians can just burn the Nabucco brand logo to keep warm this January.

"Vodka is worse than NATO"

According to Время Новестей, a recent poll completed in Russia shows that people think vodka is a bigger problem facing Russia than NATO. In fact the ranking goes something like this:

Worst problem facing the country: the economic crisis.
Then: alcoholism, drug addiction, and the degradation of the population.
Then: aggression from countries in NATO and in the west, and finally, US aggression.

If NATO started a "free vodka to Russians" program in conjunction with its missile defense programs, it could be the scariest thing Russia's seen since Stalin (a historically accurate Stalin).

ER readership to go down in Kazakhstan

According to Reuters, Kazakh President Nursultan Nazarbayev has signed into law new controls on the Internet. The Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE), which Kazakhstan is supposed to chair in 2010, has called the law repressive. The legislation will allow local courts to block websites, including foreign ones, and to class blogs and chatrooms as media.

So the good news is, Kazakhstan considers us journalists. The bad news is, Kazakhstan considers us journalists. Not the safest profession to have in that part of the world.

BP Presses Hadji-zadeh's Case

According to Reuters, BP has taken an interest in Hadji-Zadeh's hooliganism case. Yeah, apparently getting beaten by other people makes you a hooligan in Azerbaijan. Well, BP is having none of it. Hadjiazde, 26, has worked for BP's public relations team in Baku for several years, and BP intends to keep him out of prison.

Are you happy, Azerbaijan? You have me rooting for BP.

Failed State Index Released!

I seriously love rankings! Foreign Policy recently released the 2009 Failed State Index. How'd are beloved nations do? Here we go. Remember the lower your number, the more in danger you are:

In the in danger category: Uzbekistan (31), Georgia (33), Tajikistan (37), Kyrgyzstan (42), Moldova (54), Azerbaijan (56), Turkmenistan (59), Bosnia (63), Belarus (66), Russia (71), and Serbia (78).

Borderline: Macedonia (100), [sorry, I overlooked Armenia on the interactive map before, Armenia (101)], Kazakhstan (105), Albania (109), Ukraine (110), Bulgaria (128), Romania (129), Croatia (131), Montenegro (134), Latvia (136), and Estonia (140).

And finally, congrats to our stable countries: Hungary (141), Poland (142), Slovakia (144), Lithuania (145), Czech Republic (152), and Slovenia (156).

Neelie Kroes: Superhero

Fresh off her victory over the paraffin wax cartel -- which held its meetings in posh Hungarian resorts rather than a secret volcano fortress -- EU Competition Commissioner Neelie Kroes has scored a big win over gas collusion; a $1.54 billion win to be exact.

European Union antitrust regulators imposed a combined fine of more than 1.1 billion euros ($1.54 billion) on German utility E.ON and GDF Suez for secretly carving up gas markets.

Meanwhile, Gazprom has once again escaped Kroes’ long arm of justice. We suspect this is because Gazprom holds its meetings in an Arctic ice fortress, and Neelie hates the cold.

(And before anyone says it, Gazprom can be regulated as a monopoly under EU law. No-one really knows why Kroes won't bring the pain.)

New Poll: Half of East Germans Miss Communsim

How can you miss Communism? That is like saying you miss having terminal cancer.

According Spiegel Online, a new poll shows that half of former East Germans now pine for the good old days of Communism. Apparently, this view is especially strong among individuals who grew up after Communism, were heavily subsidized by West German largesse and get to enjoy luxurious sailing holidays along the Mediterranean.

Oh, that half.

"East German citizens had a nice life," says Birger [who was ten when the wall fell.] There is no fundamental difference between dictatorship and freedom."

Now that we are asking, I wonder how many Germans would admit to missing that other social experiment, the one with brutally efficient highways, well-ordered Olympic Games and freshly starched uniforms.

After all, dictatorship and freedom are the same thing.

I'm still paying attention, Azerbaijan!

Footage of outside the police station.

So granted, I've been following the Obama visit to Russia, but that doesn't mean I haven't made time for other developments throughout the region, and this just in, authority figures in Azerbaijan continue to NOT respect the law.

According to Global Voices and the Institute of Peace and Democracy in Baku, activists Emin Milli (Abdullaev) and Adnan Hadji-zadeh were severely beaten by unidentified persons while dining with a group of other civil society and youth activists in a restaurant in downtown Baku. After filing a complaint with the police about the incident, they were instead detained themselves, for as many as 48 hours.

Of course, as has become custom in Azerbaijan, Emin and Adnan were not allowed to meet with lawyers, nor were they given medical attention. The men will stand trial tomorrow for hooliganism.

Sometimes Obama Says Silly Things

After yesterday's breakfast with Putin, President Obama spoke with President Medvedev about his meeting:

"I had a good conversation with the prime minister and I think his approach to the issues is very similar to yours," Obama said.

And just so that we're all on the same page for the next summit meeting, Prime Minister Putin is President Medvedev.

To be fair to Obama, however, Putin has never really had to deal with Vice President Biden as an underling. Come to think of it, that would be one episode of WifeSwap I'd pay good money to watch.

Afghanistan's Only Pig: Free At Last

During the heady days of Pig Flu mania, we reported on the plight of Khanzir, Afghanistan’s only pig. Fearing for their lives, local residents had demanded that the Kabul Zoo quarantine poor Khanzir to protect the country from Swine Flu. After more than two months in lock-down, we can happily report that Khanzir has been released back into, well, the zoo.

"Other zoos abroad told us not to worry ... when people began to realize the disease doesn't come from the pig itself we decided to release the pig," said zoo manager Aziz
Gul Saqib.

According to reports, “Zoo workers used sticks to gently prod [Khanzir] out of his temporary concrete home into his usual enclosure of lush green shrubs and a mud puddle.” Despite winning back his freedom, Khanzir must still contend with long-standing religious and cultural prohibitions against pork. "[Khanzir] is very haram (forbidden) and should not even been looked at. I don't think it should even be in the zoo," said one visitor.

In the meantime, Khanzir will still have to wait for Mr. Gul Saqib to order him a female mate from Europe. However, we can all rest easy knowing that 1) a grave pig injustice has been resolved and 2) Khanzir won’t become breakfast anytime soon.

Buddy Could You Spare $7 for a Cup of Coffee?

This year’s most expensive places to live survey has been released. Sadly, our beloved Moscow has been unseated as the undisputed heavyweight champion of expensive cities, falling to just third place. According to Mercer Consulting, the company which produces the list, prices for Moscow include:

--Monthly Rent, Luxury 2BR: $5,000

--Cup of Coffee: $7.00 (!!!)

--One Liter Gasoline: $0.58

--Daily International Newspaper: $7.67

--Fast Food Meal: $3.95

By the way, coffee is only more expensive in Shanghai, where a cup of the black nectar will run you a jaw-dropping $7.02.

The 2009 Top Ten
10. Singapore
9. Beijing, China
8. New York City, USA
7. Copenhagen, Denmark
6. Zurich, Switzerland
5. Hong Kong
4. Geneva, Switzerland
3. Moscow, Russia
2. Osaka, Japan
1. Tokyo, Japan

(Thanks to EnglishRussia for the photo.)

Remembering the Unknown Solzhenitsyn

"Some may say that the Gulag is a forgotten part of history and that we do not need to be reminded. But I have witnessed monstrous crimes." -- Nikolai Getman

Many have never heard of Russian artist Nikolai Getman, but next month marks the fifth anniversary of his death. Getman survived seven years of hard-labor in the Kolyma gold fields, taught himself to paint, and spent the remainder of his life secretly documenting his experience on canvas.

Two decades after the end of communism, the Kremlin is moving to slowly erase the memory of Stalin's crimes under the seal of "state secrets" (The Amazing, Vanashing Gulag). However, Getman's visceral archive survives. It is the only surviving first-hand visual evidence of the Gulag and its forgotten children.

See the full archive and Robert Conquest's fond farewell to the artist and his legacy.

Dude, Where's My Squirrel?

In this time of economic turmoil and uncertainty, some have called for a return to the gold standard. But what about, the squirrel standard?

As CNBC notes in this awesome slideshow:

“In medieval Russia, squirrel pelts were a common currency of exchange. So common, in fact, that snouts, claws and ears were also used, presumably as change.”

Turns out, a squirrel-based economy has some unintended benefits. When the Black Death hit, for example, Russia was largely spared the effects thanks to the fact that everyone had previously converted the country's tick-bearing squirrels into hard (or should we say soft and fluffy) currency.

Also , check out Mongolia's 500 Tugrik coin featuring a talking – yes talking – John F. Kennedy, and Hungary’s 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 Pengo note from 1946.

Eat your heart out Zimbabwe.

You Can't Hug Your Presidents with Nuclear Arms

Financial Times: "US President Barack Obama and his Russian counterpart Dmitry Medvedev on Monday signed a 'joint understanding' that aims to reduce their nuclear arsenals to their lowest levels since the peak of their arms race in the 1980s."

Awesome! The boys are getting along! Oh, the article continues...

"Mr Obama will on Tuesday have breakfast with Vladimir Putin, the prime minister, whom he irritated before his arrival with comments appearing to favour Mr Medvedev even though the White House knows that Mr Putin, Mr Medvedev’s political mentor, remains the more powerful of the two Russian leaders."

Oh Vlady, open your heart. And Obama, do NOT look into his eyes and do NOT see into his soul!

Poppies!

So, according to the Christian Science Monitor, Kyrgyzstan has not felt the effects of the global economic crisis, because Kyrgyzstan really didn't have anything to lose. (OUCH!) They're not oil rich like some of their other Central Asian counterparts and I guess human trafficking from Uzbekistan doesn't count as an industry. Well, a solution has been proposed:

Presidential candidate Zhenishbek Nazaraliev, the founder and director of a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center in Bishkek, has proposed that the solution to Kyrgyzstan's economic woes lies in the legalization of opium cultivation for the pharmaceutical and cosmetics industries.

Opium production is a lucrative industry; global corporations such as Johnson & Johnson and GlaxoSmithKline depend on opium derivatives to manufacture cosmetics and medicines, including morphine. Nazaraliev says Kyrgyzstan would be foolish not to claim a piece of the pie.

Nazaraliev, if I was a Kyrgyz citizen and didn't fear Bakiyev, you'd have my vote sir!

China invests in Ukraine and saves soccer?

According to Pani Yulia's blog, the Chinese government will give the Ukrainian government about $3 million in assistance for the development of technical and economic projects. What's the catch? Says Vice-Chairman of the National Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference Wang Gang:

The Chinese government has approved a decision to provide the Ukrainian government with 25 million yuan in assistance. This money can be used for technical and economic projects that both sides agree on.

Gang also noted future bilateral cooperation may include high technology, military equipment, and infrastructure development as part of preparations for the Euro-2012 Soccer Championship.

If China masters investing in Ukraine and saves the Euro-2012, I think it's fair to say they will most certainly rule the world in years to come.

Russia's "Adequate Response"

According to the New York Times and Yahoo News, Russia has decided to allow the US to ship weapons across its territory to Afghanistan, a long-sought move that bolsters US military operations but potentially gives the Kremlin leverage over critical American supplies.

So...the US now pays Kyrgyzstan more than 3X what they paid last year for the Manas air base to have easier access to Afghanistan, and the US pays that much because the Russians made a huge counter offer to block the deal, and now the Russians are allowing the United States through Russia? And they made this decision during an American Federal Holiday, so there's no response from the US...I feel like I'm missing information critical to making this all make sense. Let's see how Obama's upcoming visit goes...

Lenin Still Stands

I am posting this on behalf of Mr. Ta.



I find something sadly symbolic about this attempt to take down Lenin in downtown Kyiv. A small group of nationalists painstakingly defy authorities to take down an offensive symbol. But their technology is weak, cars zip by on the streets in ambivalence, and only later does the police bother to show up and shoo away the nationalists. Their attempt at moving out of the shadows of history is a sad fail. And, though now missing a nose and somewhat more battered, Lenin still
stands.

Facebook Pokes Nigaz Dispute

You know a controversy has truely arrived, when it gets its own Facebook group. Now, people who feel that Gazprom's Nigaz joint-venture is offensive can network with each other.

"How more derogatory can it be for Our Own NNPC in NEW Joint Venture partnership with Russian GAZPROM to set up a NEW company for the JV and named it NIGAZ....this is derogatory -surely not Nigerian-like."

You can check it out, here.

Also, the BBC called up a "branding expert" to weigh in on the mess. "Such blunders are more common in government-run organisations, he said, "because they simply don't have the marketing experience to check these things out properly."

However, even Google is confused. When entering the name of Gazprom's new joint-venture into the popular search engine, it thinks you want to search for an entirely different word.

Gazprom might not be fluent in hip-hop, or have the "marketing experience" to launch a sucessful global brand, but clearly no-one at the company knows how to use a search engine either.

Ukrainian Village Now Wants to be Called "Michael Jackson"

It was bound to happen somewhere. I'm so proud it happened here.

"KIEV (AFP) - Residents of a Ukrainian village want to rename it after the late pop superstar Michael Jackson, a lawmaker who represents the village told AFP on Wednesday. 'They want to create a house-museum and collect his records there. This is a depressed region, all the factories are closed. They hope this will attract tourists,' he added."

No word yet if the Michael Jackson Museum in Michael Jackson, Ukraine will also include an memorial to his beloved Vicodin pills, but it should.

EU: Smoke 'Em if You Got 'Em

What kind of world have we made, where you can't smoke in a maternity ward?

"BRUSSELS (AFP) — The European Union commission on Tuesday called for public places throughout Europe to be smoke-free by 2012 in order to tackle the deadly effects of passive smoking...A similar ban is due to come into force in Bulgaria next June."

The worst part about the new law is that Bulgarian cops will now have to fine themselves if they ever want to orginize another public smoking demonstration for higher wages.

Emanuel Zelster Pardoned!

Try to remember all the way back to March 2008, when things were still complicated with the world and American citizen Emanuel Zelster was illegally detained and betean by the KGB in Belarus. Well, according to the New York Times, he's FINALLY been pardoned by Lukashenko. Some say Lukashenko's heart grew three times today.

The pardon comes as Belarus, once Moscow’s most loyal post-Soviet ally, tacks sharply to the West. For almost a year, Mr. Lukashenko has been making moves to accommodate Western criticism, like granting amnesty to a series of political prisoners. This spring, Belarus was invited to join the European Union’s Eastern Partnership, and it received an additional International Monetary Fund loan of $1 billion, increasing its total pledge to $3.4 billion.

I don't even have the words. It's so rare to hear good news. Whatever the reasons for his relese, I'm glad he's finally been freed.

The Deadliest Catch

A good news story? Seriously I think more Russian journalists die every year than do Alaskan king crab fishermen. You might remember that yesterday, I mentioned the closing of legal casinos in Russia as part of the anti-vice campaign, and made this comment: "No mention in the article on whether or not the anti-vice plan considers killing journalists a vice."

Today, according to Reuters, the editor of a newspaper in southern Russia that campaigned against official corruption died late on Monday. Two months ago, he suffered head wounds from what a colleague and an opposition group said was an attempted murder. Vyacheslav Yaroshenko, 63, who ran the paper 'Korruptsia i Prestupnost' ('Corruption and Crime') in Rostov-on-Don, suffered severe skull damage in the April 30 attack outside his home. An opposition website quoted local media as saying police ruled the injuries resulted either from a brawl or a fall on stairs.