Jan 6, 2010

Everyon Relax, the Pelican is Safe

We're happy to report that emergency workers near Volgograd have saved a pelican from freezing to death on an ice drift.

Make that one very cold and disorientated pelican, stranded in the Volga, 400 miles from the nearest body of water. According to the hard-hitting investigators at RIA Novosti:
"The pelican tried to escape from the rescuers on water but could not fly as it was apparently too weak."
The pelicube is now safe and warm in a local rescue station. Just don't ask why it was doing a penguin impersionation in the middle of the frozen Volga. Eternal Remont has reported on the untimely death or wrongful imprsionment of hundreads since it started and we're not about to mess up a happy ending with explinatons about private zoos and the mistreatment of exotic animals in Russia -- or worse, broken pelican GPS.

Besides, if the pelican wants company, it can go live with Tymoshenko's tiger.

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