Aug 3, 2007

Jingoistic Geology III

Thus far, the Canadians have offered the best response on Russia's attempt to "own Christmas." Canadian Foreign Minister Peter MacKay told broadcaster CTV on Thursday, "Look, this isn't the 15th century. You can't go around the world and plant flags and say, 'We're claiming this territory.'"

The Canadian's have a right to be pissed. That same ridge which the Russian's claim to be part of "their" continental shelf, also belongs to Canada. Oops.

State Department spokesman Tom Casey gets second prize. "I'm not sure of whether they've put a metal flag, a rubber flag or a bed sheet on the ocean floor," he said. "Either way, it doesn't have any legal standing or effect on this claim."

All of this has got us thinking. When the Apollo 11 astronauts landed on the moon in 1969, they planted an American flag. Employing Russia's same logic, the United States should, by rights, own the moon. This opens up a universe of possibilities, like charging fees anytime someone looks at the moon. It would be just like the time Eternal Remont sold tickets to glimps the image of Boris Yeltsin, which miracously appeared on the bottom side of a cheese quesadilla. Say goodbye to the national debt.

3 comments:

Ern said...

Maybe NASA should just start shooting titanium American flags into space. We could claim whole planets if those drunks would get their acts together.

Pirates&Diplomats said...

To crib just a bit from Allan Shepard, I'd be blitzed out of my mind if I was sitting on a million pounds of fuel in a rocket built by the lowest bidder.

Vika said...

I want to go plant a flag on New Zealand now. Hey, if the Russians can get the North Pole from Canada that easily, I want the North Island. I'll even just take an outlier island, come to think of it...as long as there's a fresh water source and a volcano. Not active.