Dec 1, 2009

Russia's GPS Spells Disaster for Santa

Santa is having a really rough month.

First, he was arrested in Belarus for being part of an “unregistered Santa Claus organization [and] participating in unsanctioned Santa Claus activities.” Now, the Kremlin-sponsored operators of the Glonass system (Russia’s attempt at GPS) are shamelessly using him for a PR stunt.

CNN: Late last month Moscow celebrated the birthday of Father Frost, the Russian iteration of Santa Claus, with a new-fangled announcement: Father Frost’s retinue would move through the holiday skies aided by Glonass.
Since Santa will now be using the Glonass navigation system, Russian children can follow his progress to make sure he delivers the right toys to the right boys and girls.

Nice stunt.

Unfortunately, Glonass no longer has enough satellites to cover the Russian Federation – let along the globe – something which the sponsors failed to mention. In fact, the system is so faulty, that if Santa really used the Glonass system he could just as easily get lost on his way from Tashkent and deliver everyone's toys to Kim Jong Il.

Sorry kids. Blame the Kremlin.

Back in 2007, [then] Deputy Prime Minister Sergei Ivanov promised Putin on live national television that Glonass would be fully operational by “mid-2008.” Since that time, Glonass has actually lost satellites – despite the infusion of $500 million in Kremlin funds during 2006-2007 and an additional $2.6 billion in 2008-2009.

So during this Christmas season, our hearts go out to Russia’s children. They are the true victims of the Glonass бардак.


Anonymous said...

And all Batman toys were delivered to GRU headquarters by mistake.

Pirates(and)Diplomats said...

That's what they get for stealing his logo.

Canadian Viagra said...

taht picture reminded me the day I had t use a stupid santa custom in order to buy my children's Christmas presents... that was a bad work, lucky me it had to be just for one day.