"The Russian Mafia Did Not Bomb My Car"

Everyone relax. Anne Applebaum is fine.

Her car did not blow up. Instead, it just lost power, caught fire and burned to a crisp. The wife of the Polish Foreign Minister (and dare we say, the best-looking Gulag historian since Solzhenitsyn's "tastefully done" cover of GQ) has survived. But no thanks to the Polish fire department:

"Someone called the fire department, which clearly didn't take my car problems very seriously," said Applebaum.

The Polish secret service, meanwhile, were a bit more attentive after Radek made a call. Crisis averted. No foul play detected.

This is all well and good but, Anne honey, blonde -- really? You will always be a brunette in our heats.