"This is the wartime broadcasting service. This country has been attacked with nuclear weapons."
That's the message British citizens were supposed to hear in the event all human civilization came to a halt, according to documents released today.
Other interesting zingers from the British National Archives include vital questions, like who's going to break the bad news:
"During the Second World War we came to recognize the voices of Stuart Hibberd, Alvar Lidell and other main news readers…Indeed, if an unfamiliar voice repeats the same announcement hour after hour for 12 hours listeners may begin to suspect that they are listening to a machine."
So what do you say to a nation of millions which has just been dispatched to the stone-age? Turn off the gas and don't flush the toilet. Oh yes, and "Remember there is nothing to be gained by running away."
How very British.
Also, it seems that the BBC "stockpiled entertainment programs to boost public morale in the event of a war." Because everyone wants a good laugh as a light dusting of atomic snow falls gently on your English country garden.