May 27, 2009

"Apple pays Putin 99 cents every time he listens to a song."



Leopolis suggests that we replace Chuck Norris with Putin in all those internet "facts." Hilarity ensues.

Guns don't kill people. Putin kills People.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Putin allows to live.

Putin does not sleep. He waits.

Putin has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

There is no 'CTRL' button on Putin's computer. Putin is always in control.

Putin doesn't shower, he takes blood baths.

The chief export of Putin is Pain.

Putin is currently suing NBC, because "Law and Order" are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Putin is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Putin counted to infinity - twice.

Putin can slam a revolving door.

Putin destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Apple pays Putin 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Putin can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Credit: Chuck Norris.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!!!

Kate said...

A friend and I in Nizhniy Novgorod discovered that "Babushka" substitutes rather nicely.

"Under a babushka's beard, is not a chin, but another fist."

"Babushki make coffee by grinding the beans with their teeth and boiling the water with their own rage."

Pirates(and)Diplomats said...

"...babushka's beard, is not a chin, but another fist."

Fact!