Apr 27, 2010
Hey there folks! Just came back from an extended stay in Asia. And I come back with a bone to pick with a restaurant, located in Patong Beach, Pkuket, Thailand. This restaurant is called "Dom u dorogi/Russian Roadhouse", and here are all the reasons I hated it and no self respecting Russian or Russophile should ever go there.
1. While the menu is in Russian, none of the staff speaks Russian and thus can't understand what you're ordering at all!
2. Beer selection. Obvious items missing from the beer lists, um, BALTIKA! Also, no zolotaya bochka, a personal fave.
3. So there was a whole page in the menu called "Drinks for Serious People" and the Thai lady boy waiting on me said he/she couldn't make any of them, including a "Red Russian", which as far as I could tell was just vodka and cherry juice. No idea why that wasn't possible.
4. I patented a "Red Russian" as a "Blushin' Russian Bride" years ago! (cherry juice and vodka, get it?)
5. I said black bread, not rye bread!
6. My potato should have been smothered with mushroom sauce not mushrooms and soy!
7. The blini were clearly straight from the McGriddle, and I think I even saw an M in the dough. And btw, American pancakes are not blini and don't go well with sour cream.
8. When my friend refused to pay for the blini, we had the cops called on us.
Dear Dom u dorogi in Phuket. I hate you. You exist to disappoint. PS. Thanks for the free rakia, but I still hate you.
I swear I'll go back to hard hitting items by tomorrow. I just had to get this off my chest.