Problem Solved: Russia's Demographic Crisis

Apparently the soultion is to cut power to the entire country and just let the magic happen. That's what we've learned from the Dutch.

(CNN) -- "A small cluster of villages in eastern Netherlands has found itself in the midst of a mini-baby boom -- nine months after a power outage plunged its residents in darkness for two chilly days. 'It was cold in the houses,' said Anneleas van Eijkeren, spokeswoman for the municipality of Maasdriel. 'They went to bed early to keep warm. And nine months later, we have this -- a little bit more babies.' Forty-four percent more, to be exact."

Given the frosty temperatures over most of the country in winter, we can probably expect most Russians to -- shall we say -- over-fulfill the baby-making plan.

Thirty-Two Weeks...

...That's how long Russia can continue to bleed foreign currency reserves at its current rate.

After that, very, very bad things start to occur.

According to the Economist, Russia's currency reserves "have been falling by a rate of around US$15bn per week recently, but the decline accelerated alarmingly in the week of October 17th-24th , with reserves falling by US$31bn to US$484.7bn...For as long as the dollar continues its tear against [the Euro & Pound] and is pushing to move higher against the rouble, the pressure on currency reserves will remain. Russia still has a huge cushion, but the rate at which it is being depleted currently must be a cause for concern."

Meanwhile, the Kremlin has established a $50 billion bail-out fund to pay the Oligarch's bills through the end of the year. No word yet on how the Kremlin will pay for another $150 billion which is due in 2009.

But we're sure "Plan Putina" includes a solution.

Missing Nukes?

Are Russia and the US just trying to inspire movies these days?

CBCNews: Russia's Foreign Ministry is rejecting U.S. allegations that some Russian nuclear weapons are unaccounted for.

The ministry says in a Friday statement that allegations made by U.S. Defence Secretary Robert Gates are no more than "insinuations." It insists that no nuclear weapons have disappeared from Russian arsenals.

The ministry says all nuclear weapons in Russia have been under reliable protection since the 1991 Soviet collapse despite the nation's economic turmoil.

Hungary for Spicy Chicken and Fried Rice? So is China...

The Hungarian press is having a field day with reports that China plans to build a $200 billion spicy chicken-fried rice factory in the country. For comparison, Hungary has attracted $101 billion in total FDI since 1990.

Oh yes, and the Hungarians also think its hillarious.

"First we've tried to push back our bulging eyes to their sockets and then got up from the floor where we rolled on laughing. In our minds eye we saw a 10-square-kilometre production hall sprawling adjacent to the Tokaj vineyards, equipped with glimmering, state-of-the-art, fully-automated machinery churning out spicy chickens and fried rice by the tonne."

Reaganomics in Russia

Or should I say Putinomics? Either way, I'm sure the money will eventually trickle down to those who need it...

NY Times: Companies belonging to two of Russia’s richest men are among the first recipients of a $50 billion bailout program. The project, like so much else Moscow, is opaque in its details but has resulted in some of the nation’s oil windfall being funneled to well-connected Kremlin insiders.

Under the plan being put in motion this week, money is channeled through the state development bank Vneshekonombank, known as VEB, whose chairman is Russia’s prime minister, Vladimir V. Putin. The stated goal is to help Russian industrialists refinance loans to Western banks, with aid flowing quickest to those companies at risk of having assets seized as collateral by foreign owners.

Critics charge that the bailout is another example of the cronyism here and a lack of transparency.

Buddy Could You Spare $25 billion?

Yesterday, the EU invoked an obscure clause in its governing treaty to save Hungary’s capital markets from collapse.

So how did Hungary go from post-Communist golden child to Argentina of the East? Low interest foreign credit cards, in part. Like freshmen on a college campus, Hungarians signed up for foreign credit like it was going out of style.

FYI: Bulgaria has a similar problem. But the EU is all out of bailout money.

If you're interested, here's a primer on "The rise and fall of Hungary…"

What's with Georgians and Five Year Plans?

VOA: Its famous Rose Revolution in November 2003 was to usher in a new era for the former Soviet Republic of Georgia - an era of democracy and a path forward to eventual membership in the West's most prestigious political clubs - the European Union and NATO. Nearly five years later Georgia still faces a difficult course between East and West as the conflict with neighboring Russia in August proved. VOA's Sonja Pace reports from Tbilisi. http://www.voanews.com/english/2008-10-27-voa50.cfm?rss=europe

Bulgaria Decriminalizes Football Hooliganism, Kinda

After a series of match-fixing scandals and enough football-related violence to scare a skinhead, Bulgaria's top cop responsible for fighing hooliganism has offered his opinion: "football hooliganism is not considered as crime."

That's one way to get out of work.

Azerbaijan's New Monument to Dutch Disease

Even as oil traders push prices lower, Azerbaijan's current account surplus is expected to remain quite healthy, posting gains of $16 billion - $19 billion, or 30% of GDP next year. So how do you spend that kind of money? Why, build the the world's highest flagpole, of course.

While some might dismiss the planned 162m structure as a useless piece of oil state jingoism, there is more at stake than meets the eye: dissing Turkmenistan and Jordan.

According to today.az, Azerbaijan's flagpole will "outrival" the current record-holder. The government is even building a special venue for the pole: National Flag Square near the Baku Bayil naval base. No word yet on Baku's plans to fly the world's smallest flag from the world's tallest flagpole.

Now that feat would truly be impressive.

Olga Kurylenko: "Wanton Daughter of Unclean Ukraine"

Russian communists must have better connections than Eternal Remont, because they've somehow managed to see the newest James Bond movie before its official release. At least, we’re assuming they've seen the movie, since they fired off a statement denouncing Bond girl Olga Kurylenko as a traitor to all Slavs and -- somehow -- encouraging Marines to rape Ukranians.

No shit?

According to the St. Petersburg-based KPLO:

"In the name of all communists we appeal to you, Olga Kurylenko, wanton daughter of unclean Ukraine and deserter of the Slavic world. The Soviet Union educated you, cared for you, and brought you up for free, but no one suspected that you would commit this act of intellectual and moral betrayal...Do you really want Crimean girls to be raped by cruel and stupid American marines?"

The group also denounced James Bond -- a fictional character -- as "the killer of hundreds of Soviet people and their allies." No word yet, on reports the Soviet people and their allies were also fictional.

Somali Pirates: Leave the Gun. Take the Cannoli.

Even more mind-bending than the fact that everyone's favorite pirate stand-off remains unresolved is word that the pirates have a spokesperson. In case you are in the market for a pirate spokesperson, his name is Mr. Sugule Ali.

So what Mr. Ali saying? Take the ship but we'll keep the tanks, thank-you-very-much.

Bad news for the pirates, however. The Kenyan government has declined to pay any ransom. Aparently, there are rules against negotiating with hijackers.

Clearly, someone was sleeping in class when they discussed Warren Buffett's first rule of buisness: you never know how much something is worth, until you buy it and try and sell it yourself.

Or in this case, hijack it.

People Can't Get Enough of Sarah...

...even our friends at ellustrator.

(Thanks Igor)

Russian Thrash Metal, Hot Babes, and Stalin Zombies

That's right, we've managed to find all three in the same spot. If you happen to fancy yourself a connoisseur (Stalin zombie connoisseurs?), then you'll be happy to hear that everyone's favorite Russian progressive thrash metal band AnJ will be opening for Yngwie Malmsteen this evening in DC...if you dare.

So Moskalenko Might Not Have Been Poisoned...

NY Times: French investigators have concluded that toxic mercury found in the car of a prominent Russian human rights lawyer resulted from an accidental spillage from a broken thermometer before the lawyer bought the vehicle, according to the French police.

Earlier this month, the lawyer, Karinna Moskalenko, complained of headaches and vomiting, raising speculation that she had been the target of a poisoning plot. After falling ill, Ms. Moskalenko postponed a trip from Strasbourg, France, to Moscow to attend the trial of defendants in the murder of one of her best-known clients, the writer and journalist Anna Politkovskaya. You may have heard about it from, um, me...


Let me be the first to apologize, but maybe so many other high profile individuals hadn't been poisoned or shot dead in the past, then I and the rest of the world wouldn't have been so ready to jump to any conclusions. Just saying...sorry.

Polar Bears Dying out in Russian Region of Arctic

I thought that Russia claimed the whole arctic a while back...

Yahoo News: Polar bears are dying out in the remote Arctic region of Chukotka because of melting ice and increased killing by humans, an expert with the International Fund for Animal Welfare warned on Friday. Polar bear furs are also becoming increasingly popular in Russia, where the killing of polar bears is strictly forbidden except for self-defence. IFAW estimates around 100 polar bears are killed illegally in Russia every year.

There are a total of around 22,000 polar bears in the Arctic. Five thousand of them live between Chukotka and the US state of Alaska and are being forced further and further north because of the melting ice, IFAW said.

Holodomor Update

I can't believe I didn't see this one earlier. I'm usually so on top of mulling over the past.

The Sofia Weekly: The Members of the European Parlaiment issued a resolution Thursday describing the artificial famine in Ukraine in 1932-1933 as "an appalling crime against the Ukrainian people, and against humanity".

According to the resolution, the Holodomor famine, which caused the deaths of millions of Ukrainians, "was cynically and cruelly planned by Stalin's regime in order to force through the Soviet Union's policy of collectivisation of agriculture against the will of the rural population in Ukraine".

The text then "strongly condemns these acts, directed against the Ukrainian peasantry, and marked by mass annihilation and violations of human rights and freedoms".

The resolution further states that MEPs believe that "recalling crimes against humanity in European history should help to prevent similar crimes in the future" and they point out that "European integration has been based on a readiness to come to terms with the 20th century's tragic history and that this reconciliation with a difficult history does not denote any sense of collective guilt, but forms a stable basis for the construction of a common European future founded on common values".

The resolution also makes a "declaration to the people of Ukraine and in particular to the remaining survivors of the Holodomor and the families and relatives of the victims" and "expresses its sympathy with the Ukrainian people, which suffered this tragedy, and pays its respects to those who died as a consequence of the artificial famine of 1932-1933".

Lastly, the resolution "calls on the countries which emerged following the break-up of the Soviet Union to open up their archives on the Holodomor in Ukraine of 1932-1933 to comprehensive scrutiny so that all the causes and consequences can be revealed and fully investigated".

The Abkhaz are Grumpy...

...this time its with the EU, and especially European Union monitors.

Apparently, the Europeans aren't doing a proper job keeping Georgians away from Abkhazia's "sovereign" border. Meanwhile, someone, somewhere (yeah, probably not in Abkhazia) launched a salvo of mortars into a Georgian village along the Abkhaz border. The Georgian district governor and a villager were killed.

Oddly, the Abkhaz did not request the EU investigate the origin of that attack.

Weird.

'Song for Sarah'

"Mrs. Palin, I want to fly into your airspace

"Mrs. Palin, I want to rear my little head..."

Thanks Adrian.

West Pledges $4.5 Billion To Georgia

NY Times: Western donors in Belgium promised on Wednesday to spend about $4.5 billion to rebuild Georgia, whose economy and infrastructure were badly damaged by this summer’s war with Russia. The sum was more than $1 billion more than the World Bank’s target, and came as a financial crisis rattled the economies of donor nations. The United States pledged the largest amount, $1 billion over three years. An additional $642.8 million will be allocated by the European Commission over the next two years.

José Manuel Barroso, the president of the European Commission, said the pledge should send “a strong signal to the world” that its members stand with Georgia.

Personally, Mr. Barroso, it also seems to be a strong signal that if you want money from the West you should make bad decisions. So Ukraine, instead of all the political in-fighting, why don't you start something in the Crimea maybe? And yes, I am still bitter about the Georgian conflict.

How the Georgian-Russian Conflict Affected Azerbaijan

Yeah, Saakashvili, ever think of that? What you were doing to Azerbaijan when you poked the bear? You owe some apologies.

NY Times: Azerbaijan, a small, oil-rich country on the Caspian Sea, has balanced the interests of Russia and the US since it won its independence from the USSR. It accepts NATO training but does not openly state an intention to join. American planes can refuel on its territory, but American soldiers cannot be based here.

“Azerbaijan is doing a dance between the West and Russia,” said Isa Gambar, an Azeri opposition figure. “Until now, there was an unspoken consensus. Georgia was with the West, Armenia was an outpost of Russia, and Azerbaijan was in the middle.”

However...Post Coflict: Azerbaijan will be under more pressure from Russia when undertaking energy contracts and pipeline routes that Russia opposes, said one Azeri official. Officials from Russia’s gas monopoly, Gazprom, on a trip here this spring, offered to buy Azerbaijan gas at European prices, rather than at the former reduced rate. That offer, if the Azeris chose to accept it, could sabotage a Western-backed gas pipeline project called Nabucco.

But for the optimists: “One of the positive effects of the Georgian crisis is that the Kremlin will try to show that they are not crazy guys,” an unnamed Azeri official said. “That they can be good neighbors, too.”

I don't know, unnamed Azeri official. Putin and Medvedev seem like two wild and crazy guys :)