Diplomacy pop-quiz

From lessons in diplomacy

by L. Kaczynski, president of Poland

When making first diplomatic overtures to the president-elect of a country on whose security guarantee your country relies upon, it is impolitic to do which of the following:

A) Get the name of the country wrong in your press release. 

(e.g. President of the United States of North America vs. United States of America)

B) Ask president-elect about his commitment to proceeding with a controversial military installation in the first 5 minutes of the conversation.

C) Misrepresent the president-elect's views on said political-military installation on your public website.

D) All of the above.

Eternal Remont readers, how would you fare in this important introduction to a new leader?

Привет! Меня зовут Эрн. Я из Пиндостана.*

Hello! My name is Ern. I come from Pindostan.

The Moscow Times, Michele A. Berdy: A few years ago, the only vaguely derogatory slang words I could find for Americans were америкашки (amerikashki) and америкосы (amerikosy), the first rather affectionate (though condescending), the second more contemptuous (but still rather friendly). Ah, what a difference a few years make. Today, my fellow Americans, we are пиндосы (pindosy).

It seems like it was a word in search of a definition. It has richly obscene, vaguely comical and highly derogatory sound associations. Open your dictionary of Russian obscenities to entries under "П" to get a sense of the possibilities.

The search came to an end during the Kosovo war. Some sources maintain that it is the Serbian word for penguin and was used to describe waddling U.S. soldiers, weighed down by equipment. However, a quick check of an English-Serbian online dictionary produces pingvin. In any case, in the 1990s пиндос seems to have been Russian Army slang for U.S. soldiers in Kosovo. Then it began to be applied to Americans in general. And it's not a nice word. The most common usage is something like this: До чего эти пиндосы тупые! (Can you believe how dumb those Amuricans are?)

Where do we пиндосы (pindosy) live? In Пиндостан (Pindostan), aka Пиндосия (Pindosiya), Пиндосея (Pindoseya) or Пендосия (Pendososiya).


So, I gotta say, pretty weird, but I guess creative. And I do prefer being called this p word over the more popular p word.

Perestroika for the US

Picture compliments of elustrator.

RIA Novosti: Former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev has said that the Obama administration in the United States needs far-reaching 'perestroika' reforms to overcome the financial crisis and restore balance in the world.

The term perestroika, meaning restructuring, was used by Gorbachev in the late 1980s to describe a series of reforms that abolished state planning in the Soviet Union.

In an interview with Italy's La Stampa published on Friday, Gorbachev said President-elect Barack Obama needs to fundamentally change the misguided course followed by President George W. Bush over the past eight years.

While this ER blogger agrees that it is time for some change in America, I am opposed to the word perstroika. I just am. Sorry.

Georgians Rally Against Saakashvili

While I admire the efforts, I did hope for something more organized with a clear set agenda. But hey, it's a start.

BBC: About 10,000 opposition activists demonstrated in the Georgian capital, Tbilisi - their first major protest since the conflict with Russia. Critics have accused President Mikhail Saakashvili of starting a war with Russia that Georgia could not win. At least five opposition groups were involved in Friday's protests, though one of the leading parties, the Christian Democrats, did not join in.

Analysts say some Georgians are reluctant to stoke unrest, fearing that will be exploited by Russia.

Illegal Donations to Obama

The Sofia Weekly: A Bulgarian is among the 118 people, who made illegal donations for the campaign of the US Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, an investigation, conducted by Newsmax website and a private investigative firm headed by a former CIA operations officer showed.

Under federal law, only U.S. citizens or permanent residents may donate to federal political campaigns. It is illegal for the campaigns to accept money knowingly from foreign donors.

The Bulgarian has signed himself as Stamen S. and wrote his address in Sofia. He donated USD 170.

Some of the "red flag" donors work for foreign governments and others have made public statements declaring that they are citizens of Cameroon, Nigeria, Pakistan, Canada, and other countries.

A Newsmax sampling of about 3,400 donors also found hundreds more who showed "yellow flags" such as not having used a Social Security number or a known US address.

Wait, Russia Still Has Nuclear Submarines?

According to VoA: "Russian Navy officials say at least 20 shipbuilders and servicemen were killed Saturday when the fire-extinguishing system aboard the vessel was activated in error."

First our hearts go out to the sailors and family of the victims. But the political context, and response, will be telling.

Eight years ago, Putin badly botched the official reaction to the Kursk incident. While this recent event demonstrates that serious challenges lay ahead for Russia's nuclear submarine forces, the Kremlin has become much better at controlling the message since 2000.

If the Kremlin has learned anything, then look for Putin-Medvedev to pledge more money on the navy, and act as mourners in chief for the heroic mariners.

More Views from the East

While some ER readers may have felt that Berlusconi's remark over Obama's "tan" was only racist if you thought it was insulting to have a really dark tan, other Russian websites have not been as open-minded.

To wit. Igor sends the photo above. "Is this racist? A question we might have to ask many a time in the Obama administration...The Obama White (well, almost) House."

GazPlop: South Stream Now Delayed

In the spring 2008, Gazprom ranked as the world's third highest valued company, at $360 billion in market cap. Fast-forward to November 1, the company's star, and rank, have fallen to 37th place. Gazprom is now valued at $121 billion.

Credit markets have dried up as well, forcing the Russian government to pay the bills for most of its largest comapnies and once high-flying oligarchs. (Don't forget to donate to our Feed Deripaska Fund.)

It should therefore be no surprise that Gazprom has delayed construction of the South Stream gas pipeline from 2013 to 2015. Times are tough -- it seems -- even for energy states.

Berlusconi Meets Medvedev, Racism Ensues

But that's ok, however, because Berlusconi insists it was all in good fun. Like slavery. What, some people didn't think that was funny?

You Americans are so uptight.

Putin in '09...and Forever!

God damn it, Russia. What now? I'm not going to say this is the zaniest thing you've done in recent history. I think everyone is pretty aware of my issues with that stunt where you laid claim to the Arctic, but really? Really?

YahooNews: Russian President Dmitry Medvedev could resign from his post in 2009 to pave the way for Vladimir Putin to return to the Kremlin, Vedomosti newspaper reported on Thursday, citing an unidentified source close to the Kremlin.

Medvedev Wednesday proposed increasing the presidential term to six years from four years, a step the newspaper said was part of a plan drawn up by Vladislav Surkov, who serves as Medvedev's first deputy chief of staff.

Under the plan, Medvedev could implement changes to the constitution and unpopular social reforms "so that Putin could return to the Kremlin for a longer period," the newspaper said.

"Under this scenario Medvedev could resign early citing changes to the constitution and then presidential elections could take place in 2009," the newspaper said, citing the unidentified source close to the Kremlinl.

The paper said Putin, who is currently prime minister, could then rule for two six year terms, so from 2009 to 2021.

Are these the International Crises Biden* predicted for Obama?

*Are you satisfied now, jaybird?

From Elustrator:

Kaczynski = Obama?

Former Polish prime minister and twin of Lech Kaczynski, Jaroslaw Kaczynski claims that the Polish president is the Polish politician that most resembles Obama.

Are the similarities not striking?

Why did twin extraordinaire claim that Kaczynski = Obama? He is the politician of change. If you count destroying good will in foreign affairs and ignoring domestic policy issues in order to lustrate everyone and their brother, I suppose that counts as change. However, the Kaczynskis seem to have missed the "hope" memo...

Note to Our Swedish Readers...

On October 23, Nord Stream LLC formally submitted its (revised) application to lay pipe on Sweden's marine shelf. Immediately, the Swedes dispatched the application to 12 separate organizations for review.

Among those who will review this application, and could potentially delay or derail Russia's multi-billion gas pipeline are the Swedish National Maritime Museums and the Swedish National Heritage Board.

Note to individuals of Swedish heritage: feel free to start a letter-writing campaign, highlighting all the ways in which your heritage will be besmirched by Russia's energy gambit.

The iBear

(Thanks Jen!)

Is this the International Crisis McCain predicted for Obama?

(insert eye patch and hairless kitten in above pic for full effect)

TimesOnline: President Dmitri Medvedev took advantage of the euphoria in America today to order the deployment of missiles inside Europe as a response to US plans for a missile defence shield.

Speaking within hours of Barack Obama's election as the new US President, Mr Medvedev announced that Russia would base Iskander missiles in its Baltic exclave of Kaliningrad next to the border with Poland.

He did not say whether the short-range missiles would carry nuclear warheads. Mr Medvedev also cancelled earlier plans to withdraw three intercontinental ballistic missile regiments from western Russia.

(Thanks to Jen for the story. Holy F*^&%*g S%^t! indeed)

Happy National Unity Day!

Since 2005, Russians everywhere mark this day by dressing up as extras from the Lord of the Rings and wander the streets looking for a Pole to skewer. Even if that last part is a slight exaggeration, the day is a replacement for the old holiday marking the October, err, November Revolution.

According to the Moscow Times, only 23 percent of Russians know the actual name of the new holiday, up from 8 percent in 2005.

Nevertheless, National Unity Day sends a heart-warming message to the world. Russians may be divided by many things, but if there's one thing that unites everyone, it's contempt for Poland and Lithuania.

Klitschko Brothers Challenge Valuev

I'd pay double for that action.

ESPN: The Klitschko brothers, who hold four of the world's five heavyweight boxing titles, have challenged giant Russian Nikolai Valuev to a showdown for his WBA title.
Vitali, who last month came out of retirement to defeat Samuel Peter for the WBC crown and together with younger brother Wladimir, become the first siblings to simultaneously hold world heavyweight belts, issued the challenge Monday.

"Valuev is the biggest heavyweight champion in history. He's huge and dangerous, this won't be easy and I don't want to underestimate him," the Ukrainian said of the 7-foot champion at the WBC's annual convention.

"It will be a difficult fight, but we have a dream, and we are going to make it come true, by taking the last belt for the Klitschko family."

Oil Watch: Who's Still Making Money?

According to the IMF (and a nifty little CNBC slideshow), the recent decline in oil prices is hurting some countries more than others. Oil traded this morning at $66.04 a barrel.

Azerbaijan's breakeven price

2008:$40

2009:$35

Kazakhstan's breakeven price

2008: $59

2009:$67

Iran's breakeven price

2008: $90

2009: $90

Sorry, Russia was not on the list.

Smashing Pumpkins in Moscow

Um...I don't understand any of this. If the conflict was an American plot to improve McCain's prospects, 1. how? and 2. it failed? Also, um...it wouldn't be an American plot, it would be a Republican plot, and half of Americans would necessarily disagree with said plot. And why jack-o-lanterns?

NY Times: Thousands of Russians from the pro-Kremlin youth group Nashi gathered in front of the United States Embassy here on Sunday night carrying jack-o’-lanterns inked with the names of war victims and charging that the war in Georgia was part of an American plot to improve Senator John McCain’s electoral prospects.

Most of the demonstrators, men and women in their teens and early 20s, said they held the United States responsible for the war in Georgia, saying President Mikheil Saakashvili of Georgia would not have attacked the separatist enclave of South Ossetia without express permission from American officials.

Several demonstrators said they had become disillusioned with the United States during the 1990s, saying the reforms it pushed had led Russia into financial and political chaos.

The Next Greatest Cities of the World

Not the greatest cities...the next greatest cities, according to Forbes.

The Sofia Weekly: The cities are assessed on the basis of eight criteria: economic and commercial environment, economic growth and development, business environment, financial service environment, commercial connectivity to world markets, education levels and IT connectivity, quality of life and risk and security.

The top ten of World's Next Great cities include four Chinese cities - Shanghai (1st), Beijing (2nd), Guangzhou (6th), and Shenzhen (10th); and two Eastern European capitals - Budapest (3rd), and Warsaw (8th); as well as the cities of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia (4th); Santiago, Chile (5th); Mexico City, Mexico (7th); and Bangkok, Thailand (9th).

The top thirty spots in the Forbes ranking include fifteen Chinese cities. The other countries with the greatest number of cities in the ranking are India, Russia, and Brazil.

Bulgaria's capital Sofia is two spots ahead of Romania's capital Bucarest, which is ranked 32nd; of Ukraine's capital Kyiv (57th), and the Russian city of St. Petersburg (41st).

Congratulations!